Putting yourself out there

Long time no blog post. What's it been, 4 months?

Geez.

I'm not exactly sure if this blog post will have a point... Or if it'll just turn into a recount of what's been my busiest school term as of yet. 

This term has been all about me putting myself out to the world. (Or rather, my school.) Term 3 has been a 10-week-long struggle to push past that internal prison in which I've spent far too much time. Surely you've all been there. It's not an easy thing from which to break free.

However, today was a reminder of just how far I've come.

It was the last day of term 3 today, on which there's an annual event held at my school called the Big Day In. Similar to Big Day Out, but of course a school would change it to 'In' as a symbol of a school's prison-like quality.

Just me thinking that?

Eh, alright.

I've mentioned that I'm a songwriter, but I hadn't gotten many opportunities to showcase my songs.

Until today.

I'll tell you what happened: I signed up, I got up there -- just me, the piano and a mic -- and I exposed myself to everybody. 

(I didn't strip naked if that's what you're thinking. Don't get too excited.)

It's a daunting thing to do; you go up there and you're on your own, singing songs that haven't been approved by any English or music teachers -- just your own critical eye. And you wonder many things: "Will they think my stuff is crap? Will they judge me on my vocal slip-ups? Will they throw tomatoes at me?"

Ok perhaps not the third.

Point is, I did it.

And of that I'm proud.

Of course, with a performance comes a side effect, which in my case is an occasional twinge of discomfort when a thought of any slip-ups crosses my mind. Me, I experience a slight twitch here and there. Perhaps a visit to the GP would do me some good.

Another example of me putting myself out there? Trying out for music captain. This involved giving a speech to the music staff -- I swear, when I was speaking they were bearing into my soul -- and this year's music captains. Having not just the music staff, but also your peers judge you is extremely daunting. I could feel my anxiety levels heighten.

But I did it.

So the point of this post is that putting yourself out there is extremely intimidating. But it pays off. It's worth taking that first step in the right direction. Trust me, even I'm still learning about what I'm capable of, and this term has turned out to be a great example.

And so concludes another episode of "Confidence 101 with Lily".

Until next time.